iphone wife

a woman comes to the yetzer and says, Help me, my husband doesn't pay attention to me anymore. I've tried everything I can and nothing helps. 
He says to her, "make a wish and I will make it happen." 
She answers, "I want my husband to look at me all day long non stop, and to caress me all day long." 
So he turned her into an iphone...... hehehehehe via Sarah Talal

wife is going deaf

A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf."
The doctor answers, "Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is." 

The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what’s for dinner?" He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what’s for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, she answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we’re having ROAST CHICKEN!!!" via Jokes, Funny, laughs and Quotes

сколько тебе лет?

via Цви Ценципер